Timeline
February
18th, 2008 - Weekly headache noticed, an ibuprofen and water suffice
as a remedy.
April
1st, 2008 – Headaches increase with frequency and intensity, an ibuprofen
and water fix the pain.
September
4th, 2008 – Headaches occurring every couples of days, two ibuprofen
and water help fix the pain
January
21st, 2009 – Headaches have become a nearly every day occurrence, a
few ibuprofen and plenty of water helps ease the pain.
November
2nd, 2009 – Headaches are happening every day, plenty of ibuprofen
and water assist with the pain with minimal results.
March
28th, 2010 – Headaches are almost constant, OTC pain medicine with
water barely helps.
July
11th, 2011 – Headaches are happening all day every day. Regular pain
medication doesn’t do more than a placebo would.
August
29th, 2012 – Various prescribed medications are used to combat chronic
headaches, all fail and only help add to the misery.
December
13th, 2012 – Defeat is accepted and damage control begins.
Dialogue
“Hello there. I am your doctor, Dr. Spaceman”
“HI,
I’m Adam, it’s nice to meet you”
“So what can I do for you today?”
“I am currently dealing with chronic head
pain, it has caused me tremendous suffering and I have no idea what could be
the cause”
“How long as this been happening?”
“Since about the 7th grade”
“Was there a specific event that caused
them?”
“No, they just slowly started appearing and
eventually got worse.”
“Can you elaborate?”
“It started out as an occasional headache a
couple times a week and seemed to go away after taking medication”
“I see”
“It slowly got worse and more frequent as
time went on, started as once a week and transformed into constantly, everyday
pain”
“So what kind of medication would you take?”
“Just
over-the-counter drugs such as Tylenol or Advil”
“And did these get rid of the pain?”
“Somewhat, although the effect could be
purely psychological and could just be a placebo”
“Is there anything that makes the pain
worse?”
“Well, if something is bothering me it
becomes harder to handle the pain, but nothing actually makes the pain worse on
its own that I have noticed.”
“Where exactly is the pain located?”
“Mainly in the front of my forehead, but it
likes to radiate all around so it’s hard to tell”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate
the pain?”
“Is 10 the highest?”
“Yes 0 being no pain at all, and 10 being
unbearable pain that you absolutely can’t function with”
“I would say it is constantly at a 4 or 5 and
will occasionally rise up to a 7”
“So the pain isn’t completely persistent?”
“It is, but there seems to be 2 stages to the
pain. The first is a constant radiation seemingly inside the head. And then the
second is a sharper pain that will come occasionally and make me pretty much
stop what I am doing to deal with it”
“How often does that occur?”
“At least once a day usually, I am sure I
have days without it but I probably wouldn’t notice”
“Okay, well based on this there is no
specific cause from what I can tell. We are going to run some tests and do some
scans to see if we can pinpoint the issue. But as of now there isn’t much we
can do.”
“I understand, thank you.”
“No problem, anything else I can help you
with?”
“No that will be it for now.”
“Okay
then, just walk out to the front office and they can schedule some CT scans and
an MRI.”
“Thanks!”
The scans came back negative, no cause was
found.
Fairy Tale
As all the animals began to crowd around a
specific spot, Father Rabbit quickly hopped over to check what all of the
commotion was about. When he arrived he sees his son on the ground holding his
head in agony. After interviewing the witnesses, Father Rabbit confirms that
the son is in serious pain and needs some help quickly. Unsure of what to do,
Father Rabbit begins to race around frantically until he overhears someone
mentioning that the witch could possible help. With no hope, the frantic father
ran up the hill to the lonesome area where the witch presided.
Upon making it to the top, he sees a small
wooden door propped up against some rocks. With a couple light knocks he hears a
thunderous stomping approaching the other side of the door, and before the
rabbit could hide the door swung open and out emerged the witch, now angry that
someone has disturbed her. She takes a few quick glances all around yet sees no
one, this makes her even angrier and she starts to yell up a storm before
Father Rabbit could grab her attention.
“Umm… excuse me miss…” said Father Rabbit.
The witch violently turned towards the Rabbit
and screams, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
“I… umm… just need some help… for my son. He
is badly hurt and needs some medicine.”
“I may be able to assist you. What will you
give me in return?”
“All I have is a small amount of land and my
crops from this year, I don’t have very much to give”
“I don’t have any use for your petty
vegetables, I need something extravagant. Hmm… how willing are you to help your
son?”
“I will do anything to get him
assistance”
“Okay then, I will help your son for a
price… Your foot!”
“What? Why on earth would you want my
foot?”
“Rabbits feet are incredibly lucky,
and they greatly will help with my potions”
“I… I’m not sure about this”
“If you want help for your son, this
is the only way…”
As Mother Rabbit was tending to the
child, Father Rabbit was spotted heading back down the hill, with a vial of
liquid in one hand and a crutch in the other.
“What the hell happened?” asked Mother
Rabbit.
“Don’t worry, all is going to be fine”
replied Father Rabbit.
Father Rabbit hands the child the vial and
the child proceeds to drink it all. After some feelings of sickness and
anxiety, the Child goes back to his normal ways of holding his head in pain.
The medicine had failed and the Father lost a foot.
Movie Review
The only words I can easily say after
watching the Adam Servaes Movie are “Can
I get my money back?” The whole movie is spent watching the life of a kid avoid
social situations. There is very little dialogue and the small amount available
is usually depressing or angry. There is also very little plot development as
no major events are occurring during movie. The small handful of points where
stuff happens never lasts very long, and when it rarely does it won’t occur again
anytime soon thereafter. I would give this movie a 1/5 stars but that would
mean it deserved that final star, I am going to leave the rating blank as this
movie doesn’t even deserve a rating with the poor amount of effort put into it.
Hopefully the director will get his act together soon and make something
actually worth watching.
Journal Entry
May
2nd, 2014.
As I sense the pain radiating through
my head, I know I cannot to anything to hinder its path of destruction along my
nerves. However, I can control its effect it has on my consciousness. Normally
the pain will lead to anxiety, depression, and irritability, these all seem
like involuntary results of the chronic pain, but in reality it’s my conscious (or
subconscious) decision to let these things affect me. Emotions cannot be
argued, no one can tell you that you are not sad or angry, but we can still
control our actions while experiencing these emotions. Just like how a person
is responsible for their actions under the influence of alcohol, they are also responsible
for their actions under the influence of their emotions.
Although many emotions can be justified, many
others can just as easily be unjustified. My emotions stemming from the pain
will seem justified to me in the moment, but if I take a step back I will notice
that all it accomplishes is pushing people around me away. Just as an alcoholic
can become too much or a mess to deal with, an overly emotional person can be just
the same. People will stop wanting to hang out with you and distance will be
put in between you and others until you can specify and address your issue at
hand. It took me years to realize that just as I do not deserve any of the pain
I am put through, those around me don’t deserve to be brought down with my
negativity. It’s hard to come to terms that I will be like this forever, but if
I don’t I will just stay in my rut and continue this psychological hell that
has been brought upon me.
The only way to go forward from here is to
take a few steps back.
